And I’m a time traveller.
No wait, that sounded dead cheesy.
My name is Linley Ross and I’ve got a pet viking.
My name is Linley Ross and my grandfather is in his early twenties.
It’s not really getting any better, is it?
Thing is, I’d love to explain to you the whole down and dirty on my life, except I do not have a scooby what the down and dirty is. Sorry.
Here’s what I do know:
A few months ago, my boyfriend Craig dumped me out of the blue. Naturally I took it like the mature and dignified independent woman I am, and I stayed in my jammies crying for three days. Then I took my paddleboard on the train to Balloch (it’s inflatable, I’m not superwoman) and went out on Loch Lomond for a paddle, because that always sorts me out.
Which it did, or at least it would have, had I not happened upon what I now know to be a pain-in-the-arse rabble of vikings and in the midst of beating them up (okay, attempting to protect myself from the worst of them beating me up, I’m not bad on the old fight skills but me vs a shower of ancient warriors isn’t exactly a fair fight) managed to follow them through some kind of time vortex thingmy and suddenly it was a year later.
So it wasn’t a few months ago Craig dumped me. It was a year and a few months ago. I’m still getting my head around that.
Don’t ask me what a time vortex thingmy is, I don’t even know if that’s the right word (it’s typical, here I’m an actual time traveller and I’ve never even watched so much as Doctor Who). All I can tell you is it was then, and then it was a year later and I didn’t even feel a blip. Except from the battering the vikings gave me, which I definitely felt.
I’ve narrowed it down to an area of Loch Lomond. It can’t be very big, because then you’d have folk falling through it all the time. Maybe it just rocks up every once in a while like Brigadoon. Maybe Brigadoon was a documentary and none of us realised.
The problem is, I can’t really go there to try to find out more because I can’t lose another year. Or more. What if I went through again and came out and all my friends and family had disappeared and global warming had submerged Scotland into that awful Kevin Costner film from yonks ago and the human race had all gone off to live on the Planet Zog and I was all on my tod on earth?
I mean, that might be a worst case scenario.
But it’s hardly weirder than anything else that’s happened to me lately.
There’s a bit more (did I mention my twenty-something Granda?) but I’ll tell you about it as and when it comes up. Sometimes it’s all too overwhelming for me to even think about. I’m hoping that by blogging my story it will start to make some kind of sense, at least in my own head.
That, or one of you will track me down and cart me off to the funny farm after reading my ramblings.
I can promise you one thing. Everything I write in here is true. It might be mad, it might be bonkers, it might not make a blind bit of sense, but it is true.
As far as I know, in any case.
Welcome back to Linley! *toss confetti throughout the land* The story picks up more or less where the pilot posts ended, though a little time has gone by and a handful of details have been changed (I think they’ll be self explanatory, but just shout if anything doesn’t make sense)
The new mystery will kick off TOMORROW… super sleuths REEAADDDYYYYY…..